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Tomorrow will be my baby’s 4th birthday

We were desperate to have another baby. We had 5 miscarriages trying for him.

I do not have good pregnancies. I have suffered 24/7 sickness with all 4 of my boys. I could sleep 24/7 too (I once nodded off, sat on the playground in the rain whilst waiting to pick up my older boys). I also temporarily leave my brain somewhere; my husband said my head was full of dust and jam as I could not string a sentence together or maintain a thought.

But oh, I love being a mum!

If I’m honest, I don’t really remember an awful lot about J’s arrival. He was born by c-sect and things got a wee bit hairy (medically wise, I am not making any reference to the fact that legs and bikini line may have been neglected. They had!) I know that my poor husband had left me in safe hands to ring our family. I know that as he came back to maternity he was scared witless by alarms and running midwives and doctors. I know that I was rushed back into surgery very quickly. I know that my amazing husband was told things were pretty dire. I have vague memories of vomiting a lot, of losing blood and not really much else. Until a couple of days later. I did however wake up with THE sexiest moving leg warmer! They inflated and deflated all on their own. In my drug addled state I thought they were very entertaining. But I also woke up to about a thousand beautiful photos like this:

Me and J, just bornThe last four years have been highs and lows of such extremes. Seeing our boys grow, change, succeed makes my heart soar. Seeing my husband being the most amazing, loving, generous, perfect daddy makes my heart so happy. It’s been a wonderful four years introducing our baby to the world and the world to our baby. Happy fourth birthday darling, love you to the moon and back Double trouble