During the early summer of 2012, I was given new medication to treat my endometriosis. The very pushy female consultant swore that the new tablets would change my life. And she was right. I was about to experience the worst few weeks of my life.
Within just a few days, I started to feel panicky. Within 10 days I was losing my mind with a constant out of control feeling, made all the worse by a serious bout of insomnia. I was constantly crying, shaking, feeling paranoid. Within two weeks I was actually thinking that I might commit suicide.
Sounds dramatic? I felt trapped in a mind that wasn’t mine and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling normal again.
My GP was amazing. He diagnosed that I was hyper sensitive to the hormone medication and that I was suffering from ‘free floating anxiety’. He prescribed diazepam and beta blockers – and gave me a short course of antidepressants. He also invited me back for regular appointments where he talked to me and listened.
And because I was no longer taking the ‘bad’ medication, coupled with the help and ‘good medication’ I recovered quickly.
But that episode has had lasting effects on my life. I do still have panicky moments (I don’t want to describe them as panic attacks as they’re nowhere near as bad as the all-consuming fear that I suffered) and I do still have the occasional bouts of insomnia. This morning the adrenalin rushes woke me before 5 and I started to reach major panic by around 9am but then the feelings subsided and I’ve spent the day feeling shaken by the possible return of such strong waves.
This is the first time I’ve really spoken publicly about it and hopefully you can give me tips to control this feeling…
Thanks, in advance