During the early summer of 2012, I was given new medication to treat my endometriosis. The very pushy female consultant swore that the new tablets would change my life. And she was right. I was about to experience the worst few weeks of my life.
Within just a few days, I started to feel panicky. Within 10 days I was losing my mind with a constant out of control feeling, made all the worse by a serious bout of insomnia. I was constantly crying, shaking, feeling paranoid. Within two weeks I was actually thinking that I might commit suicide.
Sounds dramatic? I felt trapped in a mind that wasn’t mine and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling normal again.
My GP was amazing. He diagnosed that I was hyper sensitive to the hormone medication and that I was suffering from ‘free floating anxiety’. He prescribed diazepam and beta blockers – and gave me a short course of antidepressants. He also invited me back for regular appointments where he talked to me and listened.
And because I was no longer taking the ‘bad’ medication, coupled with the help and ‘good medication’ I recovered quickly.
But that episode has had lasting effects on my life. I do still have panicky moments (I don’t want to describe them as panic attacks as they’re nowhere near as bad as the all-consuming fear that I suffered) and I do still have the occasional bouts of insomnia. This morning the adrenalin rushes woke me before 5 and I started to reach major panic by around 9am but then the feelings subsided and I’ve spent the day feeling shaken by the possible return of such strong waves.
This is the first time I’ve really spoken publicly about it and hopefully you can give me tips to control this feeling…
Thanks, in advance
Mummy Glitzer said:
I had CBT for anxiety a few years ago and found it really helped. x
sixdegreesofharmony said:
How long did you have CBT for? I’ve heard great things about that x
mumblingsontheverge said:
Id go back to the gp and ask for some help. I know it’s hard , remember when you texted me while I sat in the waiting room at my doctors terrified to tell them how bad my anxiety had got. It was the best thing though.
Also talking / blogging about it really helped. Xxx big love to you and as I’ve already told you I love your blog , you’re really good at it.
sixdegreesofharmony said:
Aw thank you x
I will go back if things get worse – but I’m hoping that this is another ‘one off’…
@ADadCalledSpen said:
Brilliant post. ‘Feeling trapped in a mind’ is such a great description of what people go through.
Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope talking about it in this way helps you.
sixdegreesofharmony said:
Thank you
Actually Mummy... said:
Oh goodness hormones are such a pain sometimes aren’t they? I have suffered anxiety on and off since pregnancy, but I largely have it under control now. Taking time for me and being my own best friend helps, but I had a course of CBT which really helped me change how I react when anxiety kicks in, and stops me for perpetuating it. Good luck with it.
ameliaappletree said:
I’ve suffered from anxiety as part of PTSD for many years and I’ve just started to seek professional help with it. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s good to speak openly about it 🙂
Arturo Tannen said:
Excellent post. I appreciate Hypnosis
Malcolm Sciacca said:
Excellent publish. I really enjoy NLP