Things I have learnt as a parent:

There is a reason the word ‘boys’ rhymes with the word ‘noise’.

The light in the fridge is to teenagers what sunlight is to solar powered objects. They are drawn to opening the door and just standing aimlessly.

The bedroom of a teenage boy CANNOT be deodorised!

And you can actually taste that smell…

Never, NEVER sit down on the toilet seat without checking it first. Unless you would like to take a comedy slide off thanks to a puddle of urine. Particularly ‘hilarious’ in the middle of the night. Ha, ha bloody ha(!)

Always store tinned beans upside down. This isn’t a parenting tip, it just makes it easier to tip them out.

Teenagers will return the milk carton to the fridge with barely a teaspoon of milk in it rather than put it into the recycling.

An hour in your child’s company can pass in the blink of an eye. Or feel like several decades. Depending on the mood of said child.

Bathing a toddler will leave your bathroom looking like a tsunami has passed through.

No matter how well you sort the laundry, a rogue black sock will occasionally end up in a white wash.

You will never know just what love is until you have children. It’s like part of your heart is walking around independently and it’s scary – yet wonderful and magnificent; you learn so much and get to see everything through new eyes. And I am heart-burstingly proud of each of my amazing boys.

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